Hand job

It's finally great to see the Nintendo DS picking up the pace in the hand-held gaming stakes. With over 13 million sales worldwide during it's first year, and with over a million sales during the Xmas 2005 sales in Japan alone, it's finally getting some attention it really deserves. Everyone knows I'm a Nintendo fanboy at heart, through and through. But honestly, don't tell anyone but, sometimes I like to dip my fingers in the dark side and sleep with the enemy - Sony.

Honestly, it's pretty gay if you're only a one-sided gamer, beating up your friends because he owns a Sony or that brick that they call an Xbox. But hey, I like a little friendly rivalry here and there to spice things up, so I'm just gonna say that Nintendo shits on everyone, even that Phantom console that has disappeared from the face of the earth. Case Closed.

Despite the DS's horrid retro look (there's two types of retro: good and bad), it's an innovative machine that is really pushing games to another level. It offers new ways to interact with those pixels you see on-screen. You can still use your thumbs on the traditional buttons and crosspad of course but what fun is that anymore? See that little microphone on the bottom? Blow into it and you can set that little boat with the sail within the game going. See that little stylus? (the pen, duh) Draw a box around Pacman so he can't escape! It's new methods of play and interaction like these that really set this little underrated beauty (internally) apart from anything else. It's a medium of play that even Mr. AndyRom would be proud of.

WOW!! Look! You can use the stylus to like, write stuff!
Revolutionary stuff Nintendo!

To me, it really seems like the DS is only played by:
* Nintendo fanboys
* the more "established" gamers (who practically grew up with Nintendo anyway).
* little kids
* gaming purist (who are on the search for a greater experience....?)

Sadly, although there are many "innovative" apporoaches to games on the DS, there aren't many titles to carry these innovations onto the masses. Too bad Nintendo are the only ones who believe in innovation. (Here's a brief history lession. Without them there would be no digital crosspads, analoque sticks, rumble features....)

The PlayStation Portable on the other hand, is a mean beast. Out of all the consoles, hand-helds, and everything else that comes in between, it's the sexiest thing. Ever. Is it sexier then Jessica Alba in a bubble bath surrouned by candles and sweet smelling roses? Hmm, I'll get back to you on that...

Sometimes, I just don't know...

Anyway, it's sex appeal that is one of its major driving factors. Take this example, as well, an example: if the DS and PSP were placed before you and you had no idea what they did, which one would you choose? I know I'd go for the black PSP. And once you go black, you can't go back.

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(shiet sorry, was distracted a while by the Rudster with this)


People don't really give a shat about Nintendo's games-only philosophy anyway (which is the majority). Because why would I invest in a machine that only plays games, when I can invest in a machine that ALSO plays music, movies and is incredibly sexy? Did I mention the PSP's interface is very smooth and sexy as well? Well, it is. And let's not forget that the games on the PSP actually look good in 3d (as compared to the forsaken N-Gage and the pitiful attempts on the DS). Grand Theft Auto on the PSP actually looks like Grand Theft Auto on every other platform. The first time I saw polygons move around on the PSP's sexy 16:9 screen, I didn't know whether to smile or cry.

Obviously, I would view the PSP as a multimedia machine (which was it's aim anyway). Videos look great on it but I don't know if I would fork out $30 for a movie only to be viewed on this tiny screen (as compared to a 50-inch plasma). But it would be cool to show potential clients some motion work streamed from Memory Sticks, or to show and tell those drunken (and naughty) photos from the holiday weekend. But at $400 a pop? It wouldn't be a wise purchase. And as for its music capabilities? Please, don't make me laugh - that's what I got an iPod for.

So apart from the DS's innovative approaches to games and it's possibility to be used as a tool for self-defence, what does it offer? Well, it runs on games streamed from carts which is always good for battery life (you tightarses), whereas PSP's spin their UMD discs like a pizza-making-guy.

A Nintendo DS would do more damage to an intruder than anything else

Hmm, that's the only pro I can think of for the DS at the moment. Wait. Here's another, it's from Nintendo!

LATER on The Phoreal Show:
Fun in the bedroom with Nintendo's Revolution Controller!